Los Superheroes Frescos (private)

[Lady Dark Moon]

^most demonic smiley ever


Name: Daniel Hambree Rodney, Jr.

Nickname: Dan

Gender: male

Age: 32

Occupation: 6th grade physics teacher

Appearance: www.kbvirtualserv.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/Man_Desk.40135321_std.jpg
brown hair; brown eyes; average build; average height; perpetually disheveled appearance, like he'd just gotten out of bed

Power: unknown

History:
In preschool, they called him "Hambree."

In elementary school, they called him "Mr. Ham."

In middle school, they called him "the dork."

In high school, they called him "that kid over there."

By the time his friends learned his real name (Daniel Hambree Rodney, Jr., thank you very much), he was already on his way to the Superhero Academy, where he learned all kinds of cool stuff like how to stare at walls or set bushes on fire. He learned everything, really, except for one:

His superpower.

His mom could turn invisible, and his dad could see through walls. In fact, both his parents graduated as virtual celebrities - their professors practically kissed their arses. Only, Dan never inherited his parents' talent. It just never seemed to click for him.

Poor Dan. Life sucks.

[keyodie]

Name: Janice Miller
Nickname: Jani, Joni, Jan, Miller (anything that isn't her first name)
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Occupation: plumber
Appearance: She has shoulder-length reddish brown hair that is straight for the most part with a slight waviness to it, brown eyes, full lips, and slightly oriental eyes, making her almost look Indian but not quite. She has tanned skin due to the frequent outdoor work that accompanies her job description.
Power: Illusion
History:
She, like many people, found her power through a continuation of strange experiences and coincidences that eventually led to the conclusion that she had powers. She came to this conclusion at a younger age than expected by her parents, so they hadn't told her about her abilities yet. It was a very big surprise to them when she confronted them about her suspicions at age 8. Though she seemed very mature and intelligent for her age, the reality was that she probably used her powers to make her seem that way in order to confirm suspicions that she had not known how to express by herself at that age.

Her mother was a teleporter and her father was a shape-shifter. So it makes sense that Janice is an illusionist, making people think that they are somewhere else or making herself look like a different person or creature. She can also put images into other people's heads. However, her power has a weakness, which she will soon find.

Both of her parents were agents that worked for the top secret organization called the Superheroes Agency ("The Agency"), an organization that protects the 'commons' from rogue heroes, otherwise known as villains. Janice's family connections and success in the Superhero Academy helped her gain a position in the Agency, which she has been working for for almost 10 years. Thus, she has been able to get very familiar with her powers and use it effectively.

[Lady Dark Moon]

It was just one of those days.

His coat wouldn't button. His shoes wouldn't shine. His hair wouldn't lie flat. The toilet wouldn't flush.

Okay, okay. So he was never shopping in the clearance aisle of Wally World ever again. Ghastly - that jungle of twisted fabrics and unhinged buttons and shoes tossed around like confetti on New Year. The coat had cost ten dollars, and the shoes had cost twenty. A guy can never go wrong with half price, right? And then his hair. Tresemme Smooth So Sleek Extra Hold Defrizzing Gel, only $4.99 and he'd look just like those Calvin Klein supermodels. Perfect hair, 70% albedo, as slick as fresh snow. What a shitload of crap. Thank the teacher's salary.

But the toilet?

Daniel Hambree Rodney, Jr. stepped back from the urinal. He looked at it. His pee looked back at him. He frowned. "I only have ten minutes left of break," he told it. "Are you gonna start working now?"

He hit the silver thing, hard. Waited. Nothing.

"Please?"

The toilet uttered a tiny little burp, as though in apology.

This was how, two minutes later, Daniel found himself outside the men's room and halfway down the hall. The door in front of him boasted a sign that read "JANITORS ONLY," and beneath that "DO NOT ENTER," in case someone happened to be suffering a crises of identity. He checked first to make sure his pants were zipped, then glanced both ways down the hall. Empty. The little kiddies of George Washington Middle School would be locked in the cafeteria for another eight minutes.

Daniel raised a hand to knock. Paused.

The janitors were very, very scary.

He mustered his courage. "Excuse me! Uh. Mr. Plumber!"

[keyodie]

A blue-gray jumper, covering every inch of her body save for her hands and feet. A belt from which hung a ring full of keys, a walkie-talkie, and a pen. Rubber gloves in her pants pocket. The tall wooden handle of a mop in one hand, coming up to her shoulders. Beside her, a cart filled with an assortment of cleaning supplies. She leaned against the wall in what seemed like a ghost town, with no one around her as the students were currently eating lunch. She rubbed her temples. Long night. Horrible headache.

Oh yeah. This was the life.

"Yo Miller!"

Janice turned around and saw another blue-gray jumper walking towards her, also equipped with janitorial weapons. It was Greg. Greg was a tall, bald, and bulky man that was the most boisterous of the janitors. He was the main reason that the janitors had the reputation they did. Their reputation was the only reason their job was even remotely bearable.

"Hey Greg. How's it going?"

"Same old, same old. Ready to fight crime?"

Her walkie-talkie began to make strange noises that mainly consisted of static. Janice pulled it off of her work belt and pressed it against her ear. She could barely hear a man saying "...threw up in the cafeteria, assistance needed immediately."

"Someone threw up in the cafeteria." she said to her co-worker. "Would you mind? I need a break. I'll cover for you later."

"Yeah sure."

She wheeled her equipment all the way to the Janitor's work room in the other hall and closed the door behind her. It was darker in there, and there was a place to sit. She sat down on one of the chairs and put her head down on the table. She almost drifted off to sleep when there was a knock on the door.

"Excuse me! Uh. Mr. Plumber!"

Fantastic. She rubbed her eyes and stood up slowly. She opened the door, revealing a teacher on the other side.

"Mr. Plumber at your service."

[Lady Dark Moon]

The first thing Dan noticed was that Mr. Plumber had a rather high voice. The second thing Dan noticed was that Mr. Plumber wasn't black. Or Mexican. Or Asian. Or some strange mix of Filipino or Vietnamese or Russian -

Not that Dan was racist or anything.

He cleared his throat. "Uh," he said intelligently, then promptly snapped his mouth shut. He noted that Mr. Plumber had soft auburn hair and really didn't look like a Mr. Plumber at all. "Uh," he tried again, and gulped. "The toilet. It's not flushing."

[keyodie]

"Uh. Uh."

Janice looked at him impatiently. Why was he so nervous? Come on, out with it. She noted while she was waiting that one of his coat buttons were unbuttoned, his shoes were dirty, and his hair was a mess. Everything he wore looked like it had never been ironed. Was this guy really a teacher? Sure enough, a Teacher ID hung from his shirt. Daniel Hambree Rodney, Jr.

"The toilet. It's not flushing."

Oh well, not as bad as cleaning up partially digested cafeteria food. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. Some break that was, only two minutes. She sighed. After spending all night outside evacuated from her apartment building because some punk decided to set his room on fire, she wasn't really in the mood for being a janitor at a public school.

She grabbed a plunger from her cart of cleaning supplies and walked out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

"Alright, take me to it."

[Lady Dark Moon]

This particular Mr. Plumber was twice as scary as the average specimen of Mr. Plumber. How did this lady get stuck in overalls? he wondered distractedly, and registered three seconds too late that his feet were already carrying him down the hall.

"It's men's." Dan coughed. Damn, his breath smelled like breakfast. Never eat Ramen noodles on an empty stomach. Was he out of mints? He cleared his throat. "Men's room, I mean. The men's restroom. You know? I guess you do know." He glanced askance at her. She was kind of pretty, for a plumber lady. He mentally slapped himself.

Oops. Passed it. He wheeled around too quickly, and his unbuttoned collar slapped him in the face. "We're here. This is the men's room. You already knew that."

[keyodie]

She looked at him strangely. He was quite the awkward one, wasn't he? Ohhh okay, you went to the men's room. It wasn't really clear before, but you cleared that up nicely.

When they reached the men's room on George Washington Middle School's East side, Janice stopped. The teach kept walking. She was just about to say something when he finally realized where he was going and turned around gracefully, walking back to her.

"We're here. This is the men's room. You already knew that." he said awkwardly.

Janice paused. "Right. So which stall?" she asked. Quickly, she added "You know, 'third one on the right', 'first one on the left'..." in case he somehow felt the need to go inside and show her. With this one, you couldn't be sure.

[Lady Dark Moon]

"I'll show you!" With that, Dan strolled right inside.

"Hey, you can't just walk in here!" It was Mr. Morris, the geometry teacher. His face resembled a beet.

Dan blinked. "What are you talking about, I'm - oh." He shot a quick glance back at the plumber lady who didn't really look like a plumber lady. In fact, she looked pissed off. "Um. Mr. Plumber. Wait out here, please, while Mr. Morris - "

"I'm done, thanks." Mr. Morris zipped up his pants and ambled over to the sink. He had a graphing calculator sticking out of his back pocket. "You still owe me twenty bucks. By the way, your students think you're an asshole."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Dan sighed. This was the worst day in the history of bad days. "It's the second one on the right. I think. Want me to check?"

[keyodie]

"I'll show you!" he exclaimed. Apparently, her attempt to prevent him from doing so had failed miserably. Janice sighed deeply and eyed the floor with one hand on her hip and the other on her head, mainly from exhaustion but partly to shield her eyes from whatever may happen next.

The door opened. Moment of truth.

"Hey, you can't just walk in here!"

Yup, she saw that coming. Did everything always go wrong for this guy?

Janice let her heavy eyelids fall over her eyes, waiting for the two teachers to converse for however long they needed to. Though she wasn't paying too much attention, she could tell that it was a strange conversation... to say the least. Crazy damn teachers. When Mr. Morris approached the door, Janice lifted her head and moved to the side a bit so that he could get through.

She saw him open his mouth. I don't think I want to know what he's going to say next.

"It's the second one on the right. I think. Want me to check?"

"Uhmm, no I think I can handle it." Shouldn't he be in class anyway? She checked her watch. Right on cue, the bell rang.

[Lady Dark Moon]

"Bing bing bing," said the bell.

"Hit me baby one more time," said Dan's cell phone.

Stupid, stupid, stupid - Dan fumbled in his front pocket.

"Oh baby baby..."

His cheeks burned. Who could be calling him at this time? Was the plumber lady watching? Where the frick was his phone? His pocket seemed a mile deep. Car keys. Gum. A dime. A yard of lint. Ah hah!

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is the Agency."

"The - who?"

"The Agency, Mr. Rodney. We own your house."

Butterflies flapped against the flimsy walls of his stomach. The Agency never called. Well, there was that one time years ago when he owed the secretary Golden Panda lo mein, but that was because he broke the poor woman's vase at the Academy. Aside from then, they'd been all too happy to shoo him out the front door.

"Mr. Rodney?"

He gulped. Shouts and the stomp of too many feet filled the hall behind him. He backed farther into the bathroom, cupping the mouthpiece in his hand. "Listen. Sir. I don't think now is the best - "

"This is the Agency, Mr. Rodney."

Mr. Rodney shut his mouth.

"Very good. Now. You are to be at the corner of Rivers Street and Third Avenue at midnight tonight. No sooner, no later. Is that clear?"

Mr. Rodney nodded.

"Is that clear?"

"Y - ye - "

"Good."

The line went dead.

[keyodie]

Finally, after Daniel Hambree Rodney Jr. finished what Janice assumed to be a very serious phone call, he left for class and she was free to unclog the toilet in peace. Well, for a few seconds anyway. Soon she had the damn teacher's damn ringtone stuck in her damn head. Damn that crazy bastard. Damn that singing prostitute.

As she was plumbing like a plumber should in the second stall to the right of the men's bathroom, two students came in and began chatting as they went about their business. Actually, now that she was paying attention...

"You want some crack, dude?"
"Yeah how much?"

She finished her clogging and flushed the toilet and walked straight past the two baffled guys, too tired to care. She made her way back to the janitor's room when she heard her cellphone ringing. The ringtone was just a standard telephone ring. She wished she could change it to something cooler, but it wouldn't be ideal for her profession....

She rushed inside and pressed the answer button on her cell.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is the Agency. We tried calling you many times, you should have your phone with you at all times. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir! I apologize, I was..." Unclogging a toiilet. "busy."

"I will take your word for it, Ms. Miller. I contacted you to inform you that you are to be at the corner of Rivers Street and Third Avenue at midnight tonight. No sooner, no later."

"Yes sir, I will be there."

"Good."

[Lady Dark Moon]

Midnight tonight - no sooner, no later - was a task much harder than the average human could ever appreciate. Then again, Daniel Hambree Rodney, Jr. was no average human.

By the time he'd grabbed a McChicken, graded the quizzes, and changed his socks, his watch already flashed 11:30. He burst out the door and bounded down two flights of stairs before remembering that he'd forgotten to put food out for Maximilian. Five staircases later, he was jerking on his coat - the one that wouldn't button - and hurtling as fast as his loafers would carry him across the tiny parking lot that fronted the apartments.

11:37.

He'd forgotten his car keys.

The tannish-goldish-kind-of-silveryish Honda Civic screeched to a stop at the corner of Rivers Street and Third Avenue at exactly 12:03 AM.

Dan disentangled himself from the seat belt and nearly tripped over the curb. "Sorry!" he gasped. "I know I'm late. It won't happen again!"

[keyodie]

When Janice was finally off work, she drove back to her apartment in her beaten up, off-white Honda civic. The apartment building was located just a few blocks from the school, so she could really walk if she wanted to. But some days, she was just not in the mood to be healthy.

She parked her car in the parking garage and entered the elevator conveniently located right next to her parking space. Her fingers glided over the button on which there was the number 12 to the number 14, located right beneath it. She was then elevated to the fourteenth floor of the twenty-four story building. That was the illusion anyway. The building was actually only twenty-three stories tall, and she lived on the thirteenth. As the elevator doors creaked open, she thought about how absolutely perfect everything turned out in this building. Great neighbors, too, and a nice, homey atmosphere.

"Get your ass back here you stupid sack of shit!' a voice echoed in the hallway.

She stabbed her key into the keyhole and turned it aggressively, having to move it into different angles for the teeth to match up to the lock. Magically, the door was unlocked and she stumbled inside. The door slammed shut behind her and the cozy bed invited her to a muchly needed rest. She set the alarm clock for 11 and fell asleep immediately.

***

... is 55 degrees Fahrenheit, unusual for this time of year. Partly cloudy skies, and there may be some drizzle later tonight. Tomorrow the humidity will be even worse with a 35% chance of ...

An angry fist punched the alarm clock into silence.

Janice was out the door by 11:50, armed with a coffee mug in her right hand. Loud music emanated from the room across from hers and a man was shouting at the end of the hallway. She rushed to the elevator and descended to the parking garage where she sped away in her Honda civic. Off-white lightning, she called it.

Arrival time: 11:58. She observed her surroundings. At the corner of the block was the tall, green, slightly bent pole. It had two street signs pointing out adjacently to the streets that converged at that point. Some kids had had fun with it and graffitied "penis" on the sign that read Rivers Street. Charming.

Janice eyed her wristwatch every few seconds until it read 12:00. She proceeded to exit her car and leaned on the front door of the passenger side. A black 1987 Ford Sedan pulled up behind her car soon afterwards, and a tall, black suit accompanied with sunglasses stepped out of the car. She had to admit, the agents looked like they came straight out of Men In Black.

The man walked toward her until he and Janice were approximately four feet apart and facing directly across from each other. His eyebrows furrowed as he noticed that there was something missing. Janice assumed she was to have a partner, as was the case in most of her missions.

"Where is Mr. Rodney?" That name sounded familiar.

"I wouldn't know, sir."

The man's eyebrows furrowed even further. Janice took a look around. Mr. Rodney... Mr. Rodney... Mr. Rodney... Who would be dumb enough to be late to something like this? Then, it dawned on her. She cleared her throat.

"Um, sir?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Rodney, was it?"

"Yes."

"Could his first name by any chance be Daniel?"

"Do you know this man?"

Her jaw dropped in shock. Were they serious? Assigning a stupid, insane, incapable person such as he to a...

"Sorry! I know I'm late. It won't happen again!"

Janice groaned inwardly. This was going to be a nightmare.

[Lady Dark Moon]

"You, Mr. Rodney, are late."

"I, Mr. Rodney, am... sorry?"

The Man in Black had a very, very disconcerting glare. The streetlights reflected yellow off his sunglasses, affording him the slight appearance of a wasp. 90% albedo. The Man in Black cleared his throat. "The Agency has an assignment for you," he said. He reached into a pocket of his tux and pulled out a slip of paper, which he handed to someone standing beside the Mr. Rodney in question. Someone whom Mr. Rodney noticed then and there.

Hello, Mr. Plumber.

Slam went the door of the sedan. Had Dan been gawking at the plumber lady? Of course not! He jerked around just in time to see the black car pull around the corner and out of sight, leaving him under the lonely streetlight with the plumber lady. The one with the soft auburn hair.

Awkward.

"Uh." Dan attempted a smile. He peered over her shoulder, at the slip of paper. Upon it was scribbled a single address. 177 Magnolia Lane. Interesting. So interesting that it merited another "uh." He paused. "Mr. Plumber, I'm afraid I don't know your name."

[keyodie]

"Call me Miller." she answered, but not quite. In truth, she wouldn't have minded anything that wasn't her real name. Janice. What a terrible name. It sounded like the name of some businesswoman boss person who hated herself and treated her employees like crap because of it. What were her parents thinking? She'll ask them that next time Thanksgiving rolls around.

She looked at the slip of paper on which the address 177 Magnolia Lane was scribbled. She turned to her -- she couldn't believe it -- partner, and noticed how awkward and out of place he looked. Not surprising. She wondered how much experience he had... but there would be time to ask questions after they survey what she assumed to be a crime scene. She had the feeling that she would be in charge for this mission, so she took control.

"Follow my car." she told Dan as she made her way to Off-White Lightning. She hopped into the driver's side and turned the key. The engine roared to life and she made her way to 177 Magnolia Lane, hoping that the crazy teacher would have no trouble following her. She looked at her rear-view mirror every few seconds to make sure he was on the right track. She was ready to honk if he happened to get off course.

She arrived at the specified address and stopped in front of an old looking one-story house with a small yard and a wire fence. They were at the outskirts of the downtown area, so houses weren't too rare. There were a couple police cars outside of the building and their red and blue lights made shadows that danced on Janice's face. She got out of the car and walked into the house, motioning Dan to follow. Inside there were a few policemen surveying the scene and one policewoman interrogating the victim.

"He just barged in here like a madman and knocked everythin' around! He took my jewelry, man! He took my fuckin' jewelry! It was my wife's, that bastard! The weird thing was, as soon as he walked in I couldn't move! He had some weird shit goin' on with him, I dunno." Janice saw the policewoman shaking her head and smiling.

She looked around at her surroundings. He just barged in here like a madman and knocked everythin' around! Not hard to imagine. A TV was knocked face-down on the ground, shattered cups were everywhere, and a Laz-E boy was lying on its side.

"Who're you?" one of the policemen asked. Janice pulled an Agency badge out of her coat pocket and showed it to him. He nodded. The police and the Agency had a good relationship, so it would seem. Only those in the highest positions knew what the Agency really was, and those who didn't know were told to respect and obey their orders.

"What happened here?"

"A robbery. We got the call about 5 minutes ago, give or take. The only things that were stolen that we're aware of are two pearl necklaces." He motioned towards the hysterical man. "Says the attacker had him completely petrified, he couldn't move." The policeman chuckled. "Says he had special powers."

"Where's his wife?" Janice asked.

"She works at the hospital, so her hours aren't solid. Busy night, I guess. We've got some men out looking for the guy. We got a pretty good description of 'im."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Tall guy, early twenties. Stubble. Nice and long, gray coat with black pants, black dress shoes. Beady eyes. Buzz cut. 'Ugly bastard', he says. Hey, who's that guy over there? He with you?" He pointed to Dan.

[Lady Dark Moon]

Something exploded. Sparks like fireworks sprayed into the air, and the nearest cops fell back with curses.

"Sorry!" Dan cried. "It won't happen again!" He pointed at the TV, toppled on the floor, and attempted a laugh. "I guess Mom was right, huh? Wires - don't mess with them!"

The expressions on the cops' faces told him, in no uncertain terms, that they didn't find it quite as funny as he did.

Dan darted a glance at Mr. - Miller. She looked pissed off. He shuffled his loafers against the carpet. "Sorry."

Running footsteps pounded from the kitchen. A cop, his complexion purple under the dim light, burst through the doorway. "Lieutenant Ray! We've lost him!"

Lieutenant Ray whirled around. "What?"

"We've lost him, sir. The trail ends. No scent, nothing. It's like he vanished into thin air. The dogs are going crazy."

"Special powers, eh?" The Lieutenant raised an eyebrow at Miller. "Something tells me you've got some tricks up your sleeve. Think you can help us?"

Dan looked from the cop to the plumber and back again. A mission. The Agency had given him a mission. He was so excited, he didn't know whether to laugh or pee his pants.