The S*x Talk

[ladytera]

Okay, so having reached an age where I have teenage children, and having a pretty colored history of my own, sex is a topic of some concern to me and mine. Since we have a fairly wide range of ages here, I thought this might be an interesting topic to the rest of you as well. So, how would you approach the concept with your kids, how did your parents approach it with you? What do you say when your kid comes home and says "Mom, I had sex with..." or worse, "Mom, I'm pregnant." What are your thoughts on sex ed and protection, do they condone or prevent? Is there a better approach that addresses the other less physical aspects of sexuality? Is premarital sex a good or bad thing, why? Pretty much whatever you want to discuss with this. If you are under age, please ask permission from your parents on this topic, and do not, for the love of little green apples get explicit in your posts here. We're a pretty clean site, and this is intended as a dialog, not a porn thread.

[Raivynn]

How would I approach the questions?
My daughter is only 4, so that whole talk is years away. I hope to approach it maturely and honestly.

How did your parents approach it with you?
Simply put...they didn't. I wasn't even really told what my period was until it happened and I thought I was dying. I won't make that mistake with my daughter.

What do you say when your kid comes home and says "Mom, I had sex with..." or worse, "Mom, I'm pregnant."

I would hope and emphasise to her, that I hope she was at the very least careful. As for the pregnancy scenario, I'd like to think I'd educated her enough to use protection and that this would not happen.

Sex Ed is something I want to give all aspects too. I want my daughter to be as informed as possible. Emotionally and Physically. Of course I dont' want my daughter to get sexually active until she's of a decent age. But I do want her to be fully educated.

Pre-Marital sex is up to the individual. I've been in a relationship with my daughters father for 14 years. We have no plans to marry and I've had many people look down there noses at me for that. One little piece of paper won't make me any more commited than I already am.

[chiefgibson]

I have no kids of my own, so I'm not quite sure how I would handle it. Though it would probably be slightly reminiscent of how my own parents handled me.

Of course my mother, the all knowing textbook of the world, explained everything to me in great detail (with no restraint what so ever)when I was but a wee little boy. My grandfather took a somewhat different approach. I believe I was about 14 year old at the time, sitting in the passenger seat of his old Chevy just enjoying the ride. He looks over at me and states "I know your getting at that age... and I just wanted to explain something to you." I paused for a moment, hoping that it would not be a repeat of my mothers delightful sex-talk. He continued "I will never give you money for drugs or tobacco of any kind. I will, however, go out and buy you a 5 gallon bucket of condoms if you need them." At the time I couldn't help but laugh.

However all my parents efforts to teach me of the world of sex have lead me to many long-winded conclusions and many crazy and uncomfortable relationships, but I feel they did a two very important things:
1) they let me know that if it did happen that they wouldn't disown me and hate me forever, and
2) they completely informed me of everything I needed to know so when it did happen that I know all possible outcomes and at least attempt to prevent them, even if that means not doing it at all.

I suppose all you can really do is give a child the information and let them come to their own conclusions. I myself am currently 19, and waited a considerable amount of time before having sex (at the age of 19). As far as premarital sex is concerned, I believe its really up to the people involved. Though I don't feel its a problem as long as the people involved are mature and intelligent enough to know what may or may not happen.